Showing Up, Again and Again
A personal share from community member Renai Bowers
“My yoga practice is Humble Haven Yoga years old,” is a phrase coined by my sweet friend and fellow yogi, Robey, but also holds true for me, too. My yoga practice is Humble Haven Yoga years old. My practice, like anything, has ebbed and flowed over the years with my life, but it’s been the constant and most reliable thing in my life since Humble Haven opened their doors.
My yoga mat inside of Humble Haven has seen me through break ups and make ups, surgeries, grief, joy, celebration and every emotion between. Sometimes my practice is six days a week in the studio, and sometimes, it’s deep breaths on a walk, or rolling out my mat at home surrounded by my dogs. But it’s always there. And I keep coming back. It’s not always pretty and I assure you, it often doesn’t come easy.
One of my favorite things about yoga- and what keeps me coming back time and time again- is the connections. The connections in the studio, breathing and flowing along side the Humble Haven community. Some of my greatest friendships have started on a yoga mat. It also allows me to connect with my people from afar. One of my best friends, Marissa, has been a constant supporter and source of encouragement of my yoga practice. Marissa is a fellow power vinyasa practitioner and in almost every single conversation we’ve had over the last 10 years- our practice has come up. We’ve shared the joys we’ve found on our mats, and the sorrow and pain that we’ve encountered as our bodies move and our lungs breathe. We share the poses that felt so good, so challenging, and the ones we couldn’t wait to get out of (camel for me- always!). Even across the country, I felt so connected to her by just sharing our experiences on our mat. On her travels to Richmond to spend time with me, we always make a sweaty flow at Humble Haven together a priority.
Marissa has courageously and aggressively been fighting stage four colon cancer since August of 2021. She’s 35 years old. Just days after the Humble Haven team asked me to write this journal entry, I hopped a flight to Dallas to be with Marissa in the hospital. During an intense pain crisis, she asked me to help guide her body into some gentle yoga stretches. There wasn’t much I could do for her- but I could breathe along side her (and for her) and apply gentle assists. That’s when it hit me. THIS is what the yoga is about. THIS is why I keep coming back. To breathe with other humans, to support each other, to be in community when things are really hard. And to offer myself those same sentiments- to breathe for myself, to support myself.
For me, the practice is so much more than the physical asana. I’m so grateful for the way that my practice has integrated itself into my everyday life. My yoga mat is the one place in the world that is exclusively FOR me. As I write this, I’m on another plane back to Dallas. I may not have a yoga mat, but I’ll find my way to my practice in a way that serves me along this journey this weekend. And when I come home, my yoga home and community at Humble Haven will be there to hold me up and breathe with me. That’s what keeps me coming back.
—————
Shortly after writing the above paragraphs, Marissa passed away. I spent much of the last month between Richmond and Dallas, catching classes at Humble Haven when I could. In one of those classes, Jennie Ray encouraged us to introduce ourselves to our neighbor, and in a true wink of Humble Haven magic, my neighbors name was also Marissa. In addition to that magic keeping me on my mat, I’ll be on my mat moving my body because I can- and what a gift that is.
-Renai B.
We feel so lucky to have such a heartfelt Journal entry from Renai this month, and we hope you will take a moment to read her words and consider what it is that keeps you showing up on your mat each day, each week, and each month.